Marriage steps to go the distance through retirement.
Have you noticed the things that caused arguments and disagreements in marriage early on come back with a vengeance as you near retirement?
Differences in people that are married/committed seem to arise at rather predictable times.
- First year – wow, you’re different than I thought you were. I didn’t realize you… (some discovery ranging from something big to hanging the toilet paper roll)
- First baby – this is a lot of work and changes our time together and our relationship
- Around 7-10 years – is this really what I signed up for?
After 10 years
Then things often fall into a routine of being busy, raising kids, growing careers, and social activities.
The next time the differences really raise their ugly heads are between the children moving out and retirement. Suddenly, it’s back to the two of you. A lot of life has occurred since you dreamed together prior to marriage. Your perspectives are so much richer. You’ve each endured a lot of hurt and heartache. You’ve each learned so much more than you knew in the early days, and your learning might be in completely different areas. All of these things and more can lead people in different directions without them really knowing it.
Then, it’s back to just you two. And as you talk you realize your visions for the future are different. Your dreams are no longer shared dreams. Who knew your spouse thought THAT was what you were going to do in retirement? Didn’t he/she see it was obvious THIS is the right direction?
Now what?
If you’re not a big fan of conflict, it is very easy to say ‘chuck it’ at this point. I’ve heard so many couples say, ‘we just don’t want the same things anymore.’ Or, ‘we’ve grown apart.’ Or, ‘we are much different people than we were when we first got together.’
If those are the last words, then these are the people in the spiking divorce rate in those over age 50.
So why does a pharmacist even care about this? With divorce, separation, unresolved conflict health usually declines. And it is all PREVENTABLE!
One of the key aspects of the Retirement Wellness Strategies process is communication with your spouse prior to the time of retirement. Let’s get these differences identified. Let’s get these conversations started. Let’s find expert help to navigate this conflict before it rips you apart.
You can’t fix what you don’t know about.
So, let’s find out about it! Let’s tackle it! Let’s preserve your marriage!
At Retirement Wellness Strategies we are dedicated to your overall health, and healthy relationships are a key part of that. Let’s talk!
What is your experience and feedback with this topic? Please share!
